The day before…

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“The day before…

I am writing to you, my angel, wondering about your feelings on this day. Carrying me in the womb, carrying the load, the concern of three other youngsters, and carrying your belly, not knowing tomorrow’s fate.

As a mom, I have been pregnant twice, and lived the fear with every pregnancy. Oh God, Dear Almighty, Will I be here to raise them!

The concern of motherhood has always been a hole in my life, it has been the centre of my concerns, and it has been my goal in life since I could ask myself the question of what do you want to be when you grow up.

Probably, because of my fate, I pushed my daughters to be strong; did I push them hard, no, but I know I did push them to be strong and independent women.

The fear of not being around for them one day, made me, in my mind, push them to stand alone, and by each other…

Hey, my angel, did you have this feeling, were you concerned? or do we not live the concern until we are born to it!

To you, my angel, on this day…

One day, you will tell me the story, the story of the day before…
Your thoughts, your feelings…
& the decision of… It is the womb or the tomb?

One day, you will tell me your every minute of your last day among the living…
Until your soul reigned forever, with me, my angel!”

#MOI the black sheep…
Until we meet, cannot say again, we never did…
Spiritual hugs for you, in heaven!

I share with you all the opening and dedication of my biography WHERE IS MY ANGEL?

*****

Where is my Angel?

The journey started with agony, screams and pain; that is all I heard and felt.
Hey, is someone there? I asked. Where is everybody? Where did you all go?
Is that how we receive a newborn? I was told I will be cherished! I was told I will
find a group of people around me, ready for me, expecting me! I was told I will be
someone’s daughter, brother, sister, cousin! This means lots of people out there! I
was told I will be treated like an angel! But instead, this weird reception! Why is
everyone looking at me this way? Why are some of you ignoring me and avoiding
eye contact? Where is the lady that was supposed to hug me when she first sees
me? I was told she will be my mommy, and kids have only one mommy! Hey,
Mommy, are you there?

…that was the answer! Silence was the answer!
Can someone tell me what is happening? Well, it’s after a long while that a white
coat with glasses came to me. Oh I know, this is the angel that promised me all the
beautiful things. The white coat said, Dear Child, I’m sorry to tell you, what a
beginning! Fate knocked at the door of your mommy, and she traded places with
you. You are now on your own. Stay strong!
But wait, you are not the angel that promised me a beautiful life, where are you,
my angel?
My angel was just there, in the corner, looking at me with silence and never left!

That is how my journey started, with agony, screams and pain… It was day one
that I learned that pain is relative to the mind, and if we are not strong enough to
stand alone, pain will overpower us! But remember I was only a child back then…

I dedicate this book to inner-strength, to women in general and remember that
beauty is inside you; to my mother on the death bed and your thoughts at that
moment; to my daughters: because of you I am who I am today; to me and here is
what I have learned so far…
I am not looking for empathy, I am not looking for tears, I am not asking you to
learn from my mistakes although not all are mistakes, I just wish you get to learn
with time about the package that made me the person I am today.

Chapter One

December 6 1964, the day launched with fatal news. The loss of a beautiful 26-
year-old woman. Yes, I was the black sheep, at least in my own eyes. I was the
newborn that morning, the reason behind the loss of that beautiful young lady, my
birth-mother. She was beautiful, with a strong personality, charisma, charm, and
mainly she was the mother of two boys; four and two and a half and a six and a
half year old girl. It was a tragedy in the family. It is the unfairness of life, we can
call it fate, destiny, or a call; I just call it “things happen for a reason”, but till now
I did not find the reason.
Living without a mother is tough. A mother is the source of strength, comfort,
love; a mother is the guidance to perfection; a mother is the devil’s advocate; a
mother is the cover up of mistakes; a mother is the cook, the driver; a mother is the
beginning. She gives her child everything, knowing that her child owes nothing in
return. That is what I lost, and I’m still trying to know why! But unfortunately, no
one wants to discuss it, or there is no one out there to discuss it with.

***********

Host of online Livestream & Author of

*Life’s Detours – Alexandra’s Choices
Book by #MOI, Can broken hearts be mended?

*Where is My Angel?
Book by #MOI and Read about the role of Faith in my life

*Mommy, I am a PACER!
Book by #MOI because I believe that children are the future, the change…

All are available on this Amazon link: Click to purchase or view the books
Through the publishers:
Archway Publishing from Simon and Schuster: Life’s Detours – Alexandra’s Choices
Novum Publishing link: Where is My Angel?
Dorrance Publishers link: Mommy I Am a PACER!

Follow me @ https://youreverydaycoffeeblog.com/
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“At times you choose heart over mind… Other times you decide it’s the mind first and last… & occasionally, drop, go, & let be!” #MOI & #destiny

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In our tradition, tonight is Saint Barbara eve…

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“In our tradition, tonight is Saint Barbara eve. To some countries in the Middle East, it is the kick off of the Christmas season, as Thanksgiving is to others.

The general belief is that Saint Barbara disguised herself in numerous characters to elude the Romans who were persecuting her.

The Wikipedia reading Saint Barbara, known in the Eastern Orthodox Church as the Great Martyr Barbara, was an early Christian Lebanese and Greek saint and martyr.

A sneak peek to her journey, from the same link:
According to the hagiographies,[3][6] Barbara, the daughter of a rich pagan named Dioscorus, was carefully guarded by her father who kept her locked up in a tower in order to preserve her from the outside world. Having secretly become a Christian, she rejected an offer of marriage that she received through her father.

In our traditions, children will disguise in masks and and outfits, they go door to door chanting, and celebration while adults prepare the wheat tradition.
Barbara tradition involves the planting of wheat seeds or sometimes chickpeas, barley grains, beans, lentils etc) on a bed of cotton on December 3rd. When the seeds germinate and grow, they are usually placed below the Christmas tree, next to the nativity scene.

Cooking wheat – very healthy and a must have
The traditional food for the occasion is Burbara, a bowl of boiled barley, pomegranate seeds, raisins, anise and sugar. Walnuts or almonds can be added. 
https://www.themediterraneandish.com/burbara-wheat-berry-pudding/

The fryers and traditional Barbara sweets
Barbara Sweets

Eid el-Berbara traditional sweets

All yummy, and worth the kilos or pounds we will add on the curves.

Basically, it’s the season that I wait for, and as well, no matter how joyful, it brings tears to my eyes..
Family dispersed here and there…
Members no longer with us, and I consider traveling…
& the amount of pain, poverty, and hatred in the world, keeping some holiday-less!

Anyways, we try, we all lend a hand of kindness, we spread the joy with positive spirit, and that is life at the end of the day!”
#MOI Blessed season to you all!

Host of online Livestream & Author of

*Life’s Detours – Alexandra’s Choices
Book by #MOI, Can broken hearts be mended?

*Where is My Angel?
Book by #MOI and Read about the role of Faith in my life

*Mommy, I am a PACER!
Book by #MOI because I believe that children are the future, the change…

All are available on this Amazon link: Click to purchase or view the books
Through the publishers:
Archway Publishing from Simon and Schuster: Life’s Detours – Alexandra’s Choices
Novum Publishing link: Where is My Angel?
Dorrance Publishers link: Mommy I Am a PACER!

Follow me @ https://youreverydaycoffeeblog.com/
Subscribe for free to my I Channel, News & Broadcast on YouTube
Feel free to contact me at youreverydaycoffeeblog@gmail.com

 Let’s Stay Connected
*LinkedIn *Twitter *Instagram *Facebook – BH personal *Facebook – Author & Blogger Your Everyday Coffee 
​Follow my *Blog
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**Click, Stay Informed, Do Your Part, Save the Environment**




So, this is the feeling…

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“So, this is the feeling… when we are afraid of love!
When I was a little child, I used to dream about love, I used to dream about fairytales, about a crowd in my house, about cooking and baking, I guess about the interaction of a family.

Now, I limit my interaction and my dream to a simple reality… Fear of Love!
Love is based on trust, on passion, on the way we treat each other, the way we stand and support each other; love is based on keeping each other lively maintained… Love is simple, and love is a lot….

At what phase did I start losing faith in love… well, I don’t know!
All I know, the bridge to love is not connected!”
#MOI Let’s save the bridge, let’s save love, this is the season!

Host of online Livestream & Author of

*Life’s Detours – Alexandra’s Choices
Book by #MOI, Can broken hearts be mended?

*Where is My Angel?
Book by #MOI and Read about the role of Faith in my life

*Mommy, I am a PACER!
Book by #MOI because I believe that children are the future, the change…

All are available on this Amazon link: Click to purchase or view the books
Through the publishers:
Archway Publishing from Simon and Schuster: Life’s Detours – Alexandra’s Choices
Novum Publishing link: Where is My Angel?
Dorrance Publishers link: Mommy I Am a PACER!

Follow me @ https://youreverydaycoffeeblog.com/
Subscribe for free to my I Channel, News & Broadcast on YouTube
Feel free to contact me at youreverydaycoffeeblog@gmail.com

 Let’s Stay Connected
*LinkedIn *Twitter *Instagram *Facebook – BH personal *Facebook – Author & Blogger Your Everyday Coffee 
​Follow my *Blog
​Subscribe to *I Channel, News & Broadcast on YouTube

**Click, Stay Informed, Do Your Part, Save the Environment**

I do, I said, and back then, I meant it!

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“I do, I said, and back then, I meant it!
Isn’t sad, when everything starts falling apart…
Isn’t sad, when everything starting fading away…
Isn’t sad, when people change…

I know, I did. But, no there id no but…

CHAPTER 7 WHERE IS MY ANGEL?

Many of us after the marriage, forget the little tiny detail called,
What I liked about you“!…
I slept near my spouse and woke up near a monster.

& Trust me, I tell you, this applies to both!
Marriage, has a deep, big secret. It is called commitment. We all tend to sink in its duties, and forget our duties toward each other…
& here, I say again, it is sad, I called them duties, I prefer to call them priorities, but what is whatever faded away, was the way we see each other, and the reason why we loved each other?

Between Love and Passion…
I insist on passion, on keeping that flame lit!
& I vote for love, because in love there are no rules on why I hold on to our dream, other than the will to build an us!”

#MOI When in Love & Passion, hold on to both!

Host of online Livestream & Author of

*Life’s Detours – Alexandra’s Choices
Book by #MOI, Can broken hearts be mended?

*Where is My Angel?
Book by #MOI and Read about the role of Faith in my life

*Mommy, I am a PACER!
Book by #MOI because I believe that children are the future, the change…

All are available on this Amazon link: Click to purchase or view the books
Through the publishers:
Archway Publishing from Simon and Schuster: Life’s Detours – Alexandra’s Choices
Novum Publishing link: Where is My Angel?
Dorrance Publishers link: Mommy I Am a PACER!

Follow me @ https://youreverydaycoffeeblog.com/
Subscribe for free to my I Channel, News & Broadcast on YouTube
Feel free to contact me at youreverydaycoffeeblog@gmail.com

 Let’s Stay Connected
*LinkedIn *Twitter *Instagram *Facebook – BH personal *Facebook – Author & Blogger Your Everyday Coffee 
​Follow my *Blog
​Subscribe to *I Channel, News & Broadcast on YouTube

**Click, Stay Informed, Do Your Part, Save the Environment**

Reaching your dream job with Badiaa & Lishawn Alexander

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Reaching your dream job w Badiaa & @lishawnsconsulting

& that was Lishawn Alexander CEO of @lishawnsconsulting from New York with @badiaahiresh from Beirut discussing “Your Dream Job is just around the corner”.

Thanks a million for your contribution to our series IN A CORPORATE WORLD, ARE YOU CORPORATE MATERIAL?

Follow our Instagram to get notified when more Livestream sessions take place.

Host of online Livestream & Author of

*Life’s Detours – Alexandra’s Choices
Book by #MOI, Can broken hearts be mended?

*Where is My Angel?
Book by #MOI and Read about the role of Faith in my life

*Mommy, I am a PACER!
Book by #MOI because I believe that children are the future, the change…

All are available on this Amazon link: Click to purchase or view the books
Through the publishers:
Archway Publishing from Simon and Schuster: Life’s Detours – Alexandra’s Choices
Novum Publishing link: Where is My Angel?
Dorrance Publishers link: Mommy I Am a PACER!

Follow me @ https://youreverydaycoffeeblog.com/
Subscribe for free to my I Channel, News & Broadcast on YouTube
Feel free to contact me at youreverydaycoffeeblog@gmail.com

 Let’s Stay Connected
*LinkedIn *Twitter *Instagram *Facebook – BH personal *Facebook – Author & Blogger Your Everyday Coffee 
​Follow my *Blog
​Subscribe to *I Channel, News & Broadcast on YouTube

**Click, Stay Informed, Do Your Part, Save the Environment**

The past connection…

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The past connection, I truly wish I can call it past.

It’s there, in pictures, in events, and mainly in memories.

Better learn to live with than live without, especially if there are connections still hanging in between.

You can forward, you can move on, set boundaries, learn to ignore, unload what is not of direct relation, & let life be.

The past, the hideous past, is like a shadow to me. Living in parallel, shadowing you, and occasionally standing in the way to trip us.

#MOI Let it be, keep it dormant, be strong enough not to let it hold you back

Host of online Livestream & Author of

*Life’s Detours – Alexandra’s Choices
Book by #MOI, Can broken hearts be mended?

*Where is My Angel?
Book by #MOI and Read about the role of Faith in my life

*Mommy, I am a PACER!
Book by #MOI because I believe that children are the future, the change…

All are available on this Amazon link: Click to purchase or view the books
Through the publishers:
Archway Publishing from Simon and Schuster: Life’s Detours – Alexandra’s Choices
Novum Publishing link: Where is My Angel?
Dorrance Publishers link: Mommy I Am a PACER!

Follow me @ https://youreverydaycoffeeblog.com/
Subscribe for free to my I Channel, News & Broadcast on YouTube
Feel free to contact me at youreverydaycoffeeblog@gmail.com

 Let’s Stay Connected
*LinkedIn*Twitter *Instagram *Facebook – BH personal *Facebook – Author & Blogger Your Everyday Coffee 
​Follow my *Blog
​Subscribe to *I Channel, News & Broadcast on YouTube

**Click, Stay Informed, Do Your Part, Save the Environment**

Your emotional pressure got me closer to my dream… You awakened in me the will to survive by realizing I AM ON MY OWN!” #MOI The author of LIFE’S DETOURS, ALEXANDRA’S CHOICES Not just another book, Get inspired, Dare to dream!

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In line with the personal growth daily tips…

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An interesting livestream about the future jobs

KEEP IN MIND…
Your Dream Job is just around the corner” with @badiaahiresh from Beirut & @lishawnsconsulting from New York.
Join the Livestream Saturday, Nov 27, 2021 for a discussion on how to present & prepare your image for the job market.

Find your time zone, prepare your questions, & looking forward to seeing you with us, virtually!

#MOI The author of LIFE’S DETOURS, ALEXANDRA’S CHOICES
& Alexandra, the child, the teenager, the woman, & the …!

Host of online Livestream & Author of

*Life’s Detours – Alexandra’s Choices
Book by #MOI, Can broken hearts be mended?

*Where is My Angel?
Book by #MOI and Read about the role of Faith in my life

*Mommy, I am a PACER!
Book by #MOI because I believe that children are the future, the change…

All are available on this Amazon link: Click to purchase or view the books
Through the publishers:
Archway Publishing from Simon and Schuster: Life’s Detours – Alexandra’s Choices
Novum Publishing link: Where is My Angel?
Dorrance Publishers link: Mommy I Am a PACER!

Follow me @ https://youreverydaycoffeeblog.com/
Subscribe for free to my I Channel, News & Broadcast on YouTube
Feel free to contact me at youreverydaycoffeeblog@gmail.com

 Let’s Stay Connected
*LinkedIn*Twitter *Instagram *Facebook – BH personal *Facebook – Author & Blogger Your Everyday Coffee 
​Follow my *Blog
​Subscribe to *I Channel, News & Broadcast on YouTube

**Click, Stay Informed, Do Your Part, Save the Environment**

About the book…

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“This book tells many stories, but basically, it is the story of one woman.
It is the “What if?” story that every woman tells herself.
What if I had taken the other route the day I stood at the crossroad and wondered which way to go?
The answer… “ is in the book!

#MOI The author of LIFE’S DETOURS, ALEXANDRA’S CHOICES
& Alexandra, the child, the teenager, the woman, & the …!

Host of online Livestream & Author of

*Life’s Detours – Alexandra’s Choices
Book by #MOI, Can broken hearts be mended?

*Where is My Angel?
Book by #MOI and Read about the role of Faith in my life

*Mommy, I am a PACER!
Book by #MOI because I believe that children are the future, the change…

All are available on this Amazon link: Click to purchase or view the books
Through the publishers:
Archway Publishing from Simon and Schuster: Life’s Detours – Alexandra’s Choices
Novum Publishing link: Where is My Angel?
Dorrance Publishers link: Mommy I Am a PACER!

Follow me @ https://youreverydaycoffeeblog.com/
Subscribe for free to my I Channel, News & Broadcast on YouTube
Feel free to contact me at youreverydaycoffeeblog@gmail.com

 Let’s Stay Connected
*LinkedIn*Twitter *Instagram *Facebook – BH personal *Facebook – Author & Blogger Your Everyday Coffee 
​Follow my *Blog
​Subscribe to *I Channel, News & Broadcast on YouTube

**Click, Stay Informed, Do Your Part, Save the Environment**